Crossing the Alindrelle Erinin

Ben rode slowly down the Jualdhe bridge, into the city of Tar Valon. He reached up and brushed an errant lock of blond hair back from his forehead, looking over the creaking haywain ahead of him at the buildings ahead. The city was unchanged from the last time he had seen it, the White Tower drawing the eye past the Ogier-worked buildings that would have been captivating any place else. It was comforting; whatever else changed, the Tower would still stand above it all. Whatever else changed… He grinned to himself. That was the nature of things, after all, but here he was again.

At the city gates, he exchanged a nod with the guards. To them, he would be just another man with a sword and a pack, after all, and the Light knew there were plenty of those on the roads these days. Nothing special marked out his blade, and if there were a fancloak folded into the bottom of his pack, in Tar Valon this wouldn’t mark him nearly as much as it might have in other places. He wasn’t ashamed, but it would be easier to answer the questions just once, if it could be helped. He doubted it would happen that way, but he’d always lived in hope, and he wasn’t going to change that now.

Ben grinned then, as he rode through the streets towards the White Tower. It was funny, the things you could miss about the Aes Sedai, if you’d been away long enough.

Ben T-Gaidin

11 March 2009 (12:28am GMT)

Walking briskly away from the Tower, Lillith privately enjoyed the little bubble of space being an Aes Sedai granted her as she meandered down crowded streets.  Tar Valon was a city packed with humanity, and while many Sisters preferred to make their way around town on horseback or being carted about in a chair, she couldn’t see a reason for it.  Oh sure, it wasn’t a small city, and as she made her way further and further out from the Tower, she started to doubt the wisdom of her decision to walk, especially on such a fool’s errand.

To her, clothing wasn’t something to worry about overly.  As long as it covered the skin, she was content enough.  However, one of her fellow White Sisters had been harping on about some seamstress across town that did good work, and insisted that Lillith check it out.  She reasoned to herself, ”It never hurts to investigate well-recommended work, even if that which I am content with is simple fare.  And besides, it has been a few years since I had some dresses made.”

At least the day was nice, the right kind for much too long of walks.  “It cannot be too much further,” she mused, pausing to pull the directions out of her belt pouch, “Thanelle said it was the third street past the Blue Cat Inn…”

Her muttering was suddenly cut off as she realized that a horse was bearing down on her.  Yelping, she jumped back, falling on her bum into the street muck.

11 March 2009 (1:22am GMT)

Ben pulled his horse up short; the crowd had shifted him into the path of an Aes Sedai, and now… “Forgive me, m’lady Sedai,” he said, as he slid gracefully down and stepped over to extend a hand to the White. “If I might…”

After a moment, she reached up to take his hand. He grinned, and then pulled her carefully up to her feet. He looked at her, carefully ignoring the stains on her dress; hopefully it hadn’t been one she was too fond of. “Do pardon my riding. What can I do to make amends?”

Ben T-Gaidin

11 March 2009 (1:47am GMT)

Letting the soiled bit of paper fall to the ground, she accepted the hand up from the handsome young man. “Do pardon my riding. What can I do to make amends?”

Lillith looked at the scrap of paper again and murmured, “I really shouldn’t litter.”  She then took a look at herself and slapped a mucky hand to her forehead.  “Gah!” she exclaimed, opening herself to Saidar.  She hurriedly laid weaves to dry and remove the mud from about her person, and grimaced.  Opening her belt pouch, she extracted a blessedly dry and clean handkerchief and ungracefully spat upon it before dabbing at her forehead.

“Well sir, I had intended to visit a seamstress this afternoon, but I’m thinking that perhaps I should return to the Tower and change before I do as such.  Cleaned off or not, I still look a right mess after this little incident.”  She laughed softly, “My fault for walking clear across town to a new destination – I think that next time I shall hire a chair or some such.  But for now… you wouldn’t happen to be headed to the Tower by any chance, would you?  After all, if you are, then I won’t have to worry about you accidentally riding me down again.”  She realized that she probably sounded a bit blunt and rude, but then, attempting to crack jokes was sort of a new thing for her.

15 March 2009 (6:56pm GMT)

The White Sister gratefully accepted the hand up; she was not an equestrian by any stretch of the imagination.  Oh, she had taken the occasional ride on a horse, even going so far as to take lessons at one point, but she couldn’t see the need to be an expert at it if she had no real need to leave Tar Valon.  She even had, at one point as a new Sister, purchased herself a well-trained and gentle-natured filly, but the poor thing had spent most of its time cooped up in the stables during her life, and rarely going out.

”I really should make an effort to go riding sometime, I really should,” Lillith mused to herself for the hundredth time, ”I mean, I never know when I’ll have to leave the Tower, and it would be better than limping around to find someone to Heal me.” Of course, she’d probably forget for the hundredth and one time this solemn promise to herself, but perhaps one day it would stick in her mind.

“By the way, I don’t believe I introduced myself before; my name’s Ben Tomas.”

Shaking herself out of her reverie, she attempted to turn her head to address the handsome man leaning around her, “Nice to meet you, Ben, albeit it probably would have been nicer in other circumstances.”  She laughed slightly before continuing, “And heading for the Tower, at that.  I’m guessing that you’re not a new recruit, as you don’t seem quite young enough for that… family in the Tower, perhaps?  A little sister amongst the Accepted, or amongst the newest Sisters?”

She didn’t realize she was babbling, but she didn’t really care that much either.  There was something… comfortable about this person, something she hadn’t felt in anyone else.  Lillith couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but for the nonce, she was very content to have this strange and enjoyable moment in her life.

18 March 2009 (9:04pm GMT)

“A little sister amongst the Accepted, or amongst the newest Sisters?” she asked, looking over her shoulder to smile at him.

“A sister? You could say that…” Ben replied, slightly ruefully at being caught out so soon. But then, one could hardly expect to keep secrets from an Aes Sedai, even one as charmingly distracted as this one seemed. He smiled, and continued, “…but a bit more senior than you’re thinking. And I’m going to need to stop by the Warder’s yard, to send someone to find me a room again; I’m sure they’ve given mine away to someone else by now.”
Ben Tomas

24 March 2009 (12:04 am)

“A bit more senior…” Lillith trailed off, musing.  “Of course,” she exclaimed, “You must be bonded to one of the Aes Sedai, then.  I take it that you’ve been off in duty to your Sister, or have you both been off on an errand for some time?  I myself have little reason to depart Tar Valon, so I guess it does interest me to some degree as to why anyone would be off for any amount of time.”

Re: A Long Awaited Visit to the Gardens (Attn: Raeyn)

It was a lovely sunny day, and Lillith found herself in her secret garden.  It was a lovely little place on the Tower ground that she’d found as an Accepted, and had yet to see anyone but the occasional Tower gardener in.  In short, it was a place that suited the solitary White Sister.

Today, she was going over notes from her most recent meeting with Larindhra, the Mistress of Novices.  While Lillith was hesitant to call the relationship between herself and the Red Sister ’friendship’, she valued her time with the older woman.  There was a degree of comfort she felt with Lari that she’d not felt with anyone before.  Of course, it helped the older woman let the young White Sister study her charges, and that they could share an enthusiasm on the matter.

”Don’t dwell on that now, there’s work to be done,” Lillith thought firmly to herself, taking a moment to swirl the nib of her pen in the pot of alcohol next to her on the bench.  A gentle breeze brushed her cheek, producing a momentary smile as she re-inked her pen and bent back over her lapdesk.  She was spending the afternoon transcribing her jotted notes from meetings with Lari and some of the Novices into a tidy progression.  It was a pet project of hers, tracking how the new children fit into place, and while she didn’t expect it to bring her fame or acclaim, it didn’t matter; it was something that interested her, and that was enough!

“Hello?” somebody suddenly called out, and Lillith grimaced at the dark line now dug into the page on her desk.  Looking up, she saw a short, fair-haired woman smiling down at where she sat.  Putting her desk to the side, Lillith replied, “Do I know you?”  Grimacing, she shook her head, “That was inane of me… I am called Lillith.. and you are?”


15 September 2008

“Loraine,” the other woman called over her shoulder as she moved deeper into the garden.  It was obvious to Lillith that even with her ‘intrusive’ presence, this was a place of great refuge and comfort for this other Sister.  “Much as it is to me,” she thought ruefully as she stood to see what was of such interest to the other woman.

The other Sister walked around talking to herself for a moment before turning back to the White standing by the bench, “I’m sorry if I’ve interrupted you,” she spoke, “I just needed the peace I always find in this garden.”

Dipping her head in acknowledgement, Lillith replied,  “This is something I can understand, for all I’ve only known of this garden since being raised to the shawl.  I.. I didn’t wander much from my studies as an initiate, it didn’t seem.. logical.”  She permitted herself a small smile; this was a polite hint as to what her Ajah was, since she wasn’t new enough to wander about flaunting her Shawl.

Picking up her lapdesk, she placed it on the ground at her side and patted the bench next to her, “I take it that you’re recently returned to the Tower, then?  Perhaps I saw you around when I was new to the shawl, but like many at that time, I was too engrossed in my Ajah to even start to learn who there was outside of that grouping.. besides my teachers, that is.”


11 November 2008 (11:37pm GMT)

“Have I left Tar Valon?  No, I fear that I haven’t; my studies since reaching the shawl have kept me most busy,”  she nodded politely, taking a second to make sure her lapdesk was secure and far enough to the side to not accidentally get kicked.  Satisfied, she turned her attention back to her impromptu company, “I wish I found more moments to spend outdoors, truly, but it’s something I’ve only started to appreciate as I’ve aged.  Not that I find that many moments to enjoy out of doors, but in a way, that makes them all the more precious.”

Letting her attention get momentarily distracted by a passing butterfly, she smiled slightly and continued, “As for having a Warder… I guess I cannot see the need as a Tower-bound Sister.  As you’ve expressed, I cannot see the Gaidin who are here at the Tower being truly happy with the situation.  If, perhaps, I am taken with a need to travel at a later date, I might investigate the possibility.”  She laughed softly, peering for a moment at her hands folded in her lap, “It’s not as if anyone is going to murder me in my bed here at the Tower, is it?”

A soft breeze wafted through, caressing the young White Sister’s face as she took a moment to look around the garden again.  A sense of contentment filled her; while she wasn’t exactly a gregarious individual, one-on-one interaction, on occasion, was such a pleasant thing, especially when there wasn’t the feeling out she would normally associate with other Sisters in the Tower.  Turning back to the other Sister, she spoke again, “And yourself?  Do you prefer to be ‘home’ at the Tower, or out in the world?”


14 November 2008 (9:31pm GMT)

The young White Sister couldn’t help but note the older woman cringe slightly at her light-hearted comment about murder, “Oh bloody and bloody ashes, do I even want to know what has happened before my time?!” she groaned mentally, maintaining her outward composure before speaking again.  Lor paused before answering, as if in thought.

”So then, probably a Green or a Blue,” she thought to herself in satisfaction; it seemed often that the Sisters of those Ajahs were forever off on ‘adventures’.  Not that there was anything wrong with that; the world needed to see the Sisters and the strength of the White Tower, and the beneficial influence they had on the land at large.  Of course, the return question wasn’t that much of a surprise, considering, “Do you feel the Tower is your home, Lillith? Aside from having spent so much time here, when you think of the word ‘home,’ are the quarters you were assigned here the image that springs to mind?”

Nodding briefly, she stood for a moment.  Pacing before the bench, Lillith spoke slowly, “Considering that it’s all I’ve known for the vast majority of my life?  I would say the Tower, and Tar Valon itself, is very much home to me.”  She paused for a moment; her feet stopped their slow pacing before she continued, “And one cannot but live in the same quarters for half of their life without feeling as if they are a sanctuary of sorts.  I came to learn, and to serve; what higher calling is there, but to serve the people of the land how I may?  Granted, I don’t feel the call to go out to the villages and help feed the poor, as some of the Blues do, or the satisfaction a Yellow might receive from bringing someone back from the brink of death… but then, there really isn’t much call for someone explaining logical principles in those cases, is there?”

Shaking her head, she smiled briefly, “I do apologize if I go on; I’m a solitary person by nature, and tend to ramble as my thoughts normally do when I speak to others.”  Sitting back down, she reached over and picked up her lapdesk.  Opening it, she pulled out a couple of sandwiches, and upon closing the lapdesk, placed them on top.  “I was actually planning on having some lunch out here, as you can see, but you’re welcome to join me to what I have with me.”


04 January (1:15am)

Nodding politely, Lillith responded, “That’s more than fine, Loraine.  It’s a lovely day to be outside.” The Domani woman proceeded to sit down, and then started into her sandwich in a less-than-graceful, yet efficient manner.  While the other woman might have had her spot of lunch, breakfast seemed an Age ago, and the White Sister didn’t feel overly worried that the taller woman was going to run off telling everyone that she had pigged out.

She couldn’t help but smile as the other Sister began to speak on logic, “For a Green, she seems to be a fairly grounded person… such a rare treat, it seems!” Unconsciously, she picked up the second sandwich and proceeded to devour that as Loraine picked up a flower, “I have yet to find the logic in a flower. I admit, being Green, my heart is not in logic, but in tactics and ‘saving the world.’ I haven’t had much time since leaving here to appreciate the simple beauty in a flower. There must be other ways for the flower to get the benefits of the flower without going through so much to produce one…

Laughing softly, she blinked in surprise to realize that both her sandwiches appeared to have disappeared into thin air.  Glaring at her stomach briefly, she shook her head and turned her attention to her companion, “Simple beauty sums up the logic of a flower in a nutshell.”

Standing up and moving in front of Loraine, Lillith leaned down and picked up a bloom of her own.  Inhaling the light fragrance, she gestured off-handedly at the plant, “A flower exists to be attractive in order to draw the birds and insects forth to sample of its sweetness, and thereby spread its seed.  The more attractive the flowers of the plant to the birds and the bees, the more likely it is to prosper.”

Tucking the bloom gently behind her belt, she moved back to the bench and resumed her seat, “Of course, it’s a bit… dry… to think of flowers as such.  Better to simply enjoy their beauty, better than to dwell on their reason for existing.  Light, I’m sometimes surprised that any of us can still find them enjoyable after years of Novice training!”  She chuckled softly then, idly fingering the bloom at her waist, “Not that it’s the flower’s fault for it being such a ready example for children first learning their talents.”


04 January 2009 (4:30 am GMT)

“You know,” Lillith started slowly, “I actually didn’t notice the lack of roses here.  Silly that, isn’t it?”  She laughed softly, plucking the flower from her waist and twirling it before her face, “I guess for all the time out here, I’ve not really thought about what all is out here; I just enjoy the solitude and the sensations of being out in the open.”

Dropping her hand with the flower back into her lap, she mused furiously for a moment, “Why did she mention her Eyes and Ears to me?  Perhaps it was a slip…”  What she said, however, “A book is a good companion on a long trip… if someone else can guard your back long enough to get into it.”

Eying the flower again, she tapped her lip briefly, and continued, “As for madness… that which we cannot understand in others is ofttimes misinterpreted as ‘madness’.  I know little of the Gaidin, not being bonded myself, but I can only guess that he is concerned for your well-being, and there’s not really room in his mind for those sentimental things which he fears may harm you.  And I guess as being bonded to a Green probably gives a man all sorts of worries.”  She smiled to express she didn’t mean it as an insult, and spoke on, “After all, it takes a certain level of what some might see as madness to be willing and ready to stand for whatever may come, to fight that which is wrong and evil in the world.  I feel that I myself am not strong enough for such.. which is why I can both admire and be somewhat bemused by those of you that can do such things.”


04 January 2009 (8:14pm GMT)

Blinking in surprise, Lillith refrained from biting her lip, ”Is she… attempting to comfort me?  I… I don’t know what to think..” It didn’t surprise her, not really; although she was fairly sure at this point that Loraine wasn’t trying to condescend, but rather be… sisterly?… sisterly, perhaps.  ”It’s quite possible she has, in her past, thought that perhaps the other Ajahs served lesser purposes, and having learned otherwise over the years through interactions has made her somewhat more magnanimous that perhaps she had been as a younger Sister.  Still, how to respond to such…”

She nodded slowly, the White Sister did, and she gave the impression of carefully picking out her words as she replied to the Green Sister comfortably seated in the grass beside her, “For all you’ve hinted at such this afternoon, I guess I have a bit… dense.  I didn’t quite realize that you were the main force behind the shape this garden had taken before I found it.”

Lillith stood up then and stretched her arms above her head.  Sighing slightly in contentment, she peered at the flower that Loraine had been explaining the history of, “As for battles of various sorts… well, it’s much like they told us when we were Novices and Accepted, isn’t it?  While we might not all be out there physically fighting the forces of the Dark One, we are all doing our parts.  I myself have been assisting Larindhra to some degree… or better to say, she’s politely tolerating a research project that I wanted to do.”  She smiled, and gestured to her lapdesk tucked under the bench, “I’ve been sitting in with the Mistress of Novices as she interviews the incoming Novices and annotating their behaviors and attitudes.  I intend to interview them further into their training, as well as talking with their teachers to understand the behavioral patterns of the children as they proceed through training.  It might not be the most fascinating material, but I believe that understanding behavioral patterns is very useful for various purposes.  After all, a battle cannot be fought and won without appropriate knowledge in several facets.”  She chuckled ruefully, and sat back down on the bench, “Light, but I sound like a Brown at times myself; I’m pretty sure that Raeyn and the other Brown Sitters thought I’d be joining with them for many years.”


10 January 2009 (10:53pm GMT)

Lillith frowned slightly at the anger comment; it, to her, seemed to be a normal part of the frustration of thinking that you were a free person, only to realize that you were well and truly a child.  “But,” she reasoned to herself, “No need to point that out.  After all, every person wants to think that their emotions are unique and personal, not commonplace and standard…”

She brightened up when the subject turned to her studies, however, “I’ve only been on this particular task a few months now, mind you, but it’s already showing some fascinating results.”  Leaning over, she tapped her lapdesk and continued, “Yes, cultural differences in the girls’ backgrounds do have some effect on how they integrate.  After all, they grew up knowing that certain behaviors were acceptable in their country, or in their village, or whatever.”  Lillith’s voice raised in pitch, and became more rushed as she continued, “Which, as we’ve seen in our own time as Novices, vary vastly from country to country.  However, we’ve also seen how the training received moderates some of those extreme behaviors… at least through the training period.”  She laughed briefly, “Of course, some of those behaviors reemerge once they are raised to the shawl, but there’s nothing that can be done about that.  As long as they are able to understand the basic medium of decorum required for life in the Tower, it’s considered a satisfactory enough result.”

Leaning back over, she picked up her desk this time and plopped it back on the bench next to her.  Opening it, she rifled through, picked up a folder, and waved it briefly, “But as said – there is a middle ground of behavior and attitude that those children in training conform to if they wish to make it through training.  As you know, there are very rigorous standards to which the children have to conform to, and this sort of research is both complimentary and supplemental to the Mistress of Novice’s own work.  This wasn’t the original intention of this work, but has been a pleasant surprise, as well as Larindhra’s willingness to let me ‘edge in’ on her domain….” “And, of course, the surprise of… friendship?  Something…“.

She shook her head, and put the folder back down in her desk, “Anyways, I could go on at length, but in short – it’s just an interesting little study of behavioral patterns based on the somewhat drastic lifestyle change that the children have to make coming here.  I don’t know exactly what real use it will be at this point, but I felt compelled to observe it.”


12 January 2009 (10:50pm GMT)

Lillith smiled and nodded, “I wouldn’t be surprised if your hypothesis rang true, Loraine.  Of course, there are obvious exceptions to the rules; I myself would be considered one.”  Her smile took on a wry twist, “Discounting the fact that all Domani women are supposed to be able to twist men around their fingers, I happened to be raised in a library.  So I guess I’m most unrepentantly gone against the supposed grain twice-over.”

Shaking her head, she chuckled softly, “Still, a person’s background would invariably have an effect on where they ended up upon reaching the shawl, if they made it to the shawl in the first place.  Of course, there are those that claim that with great strength in the One Power comes great strength of will, yet doesn’t it seem oxymoronic when applied to those who are weakest and are barely able to attain the shawl.  To me, those who know that they are barely eligible would be the strongest, in having to work so hard knowing that the slightest failing would see them going back to a life of… well, whatever they were doing before the Tower.”  The White Sister shrugged, “But then, that’s not an opinion I would speak too freely either; things as they are in the Tower at current would probably find little favor with such a statement.”


18 January 2009 (2:45am GMT)

Sighing slightly, Lillith repeated a benison she held close to her heart, “The Tower has survived and will continue to survive. While I’m not foolish enough to think that we shall survive by virtue of being us, I do believe that if people are willing to remember our purpose as Servants of All and do our work as best we may, we shall continue to endure, no matter the hardship.”

Tucking her notes back in her lapdesk, she spoke musingly, “As for the children burning themselves out… we all do our best to make sure they don’t leap ahead of what they are able to do, but I don’t think we can scare them nearly well enough to keep them from running headlong into the abyss.  Of course, it doesn’t help that burning out isn’t nearly as fearsome a thing as it used to be…”

She trailed off, cocking her head.  The sound of bells drifted into the garden, signifying the time.  Closing her desk, she scooped it into her arms and stood, smiling apologetically, “I do hate to rush off on this, but one of the Sitters wanted to discuss something with me at this time.  It has been lovely talking with you and sharing the garden, and perhaps we can do it some other time.  For now, enjoy… and perhaps I shall see you sometime again.”

With that, she nodded and started strolling briskly back to the Tower.

The End is the Beginning is the End (Lillith’s Oaths (Complete))


She had been tired earlier, but Lillith wasn’t sure she’d be sleeping again for some time. Sure, she was exhausted, and all the more so for the trial she had just undergone and passed – the test for Aes Sedai.


Tonight was for reflection, she had been taught, and the young Domani was fervently about the task. Wan candlelight bathed her form – a ghost of a woman in the dress of an Accepted, curled up in the fetal position on her bed. Her fingers gripped rainbow-hemmed skirts tightly; her eyes lost in a faraway stare.


She had convinced herself over the years as an Accepted that nothing could hurt as much as the test for Accepted itself; the pain of being reminded that she had abandoned her father, her only family and the only person near her heart, had been too much to bear, and it still stung on some level.


A star of fire…


And yet, this… experience had been even more harrowing. One hundred weaves, one hundred scenarios, and all under a caveat of absolute calm. “I must have been mad to want this,” Lillith croaked in a voice sounding as old as the Wheel, “Mad to have wanted this… but I’m stuck for it now.”


Through that oval ter’angreal, she had been assaulted, accosted, and thoroughly harassed. Crowds formed around her demanding answers to questions she couldn’t give, and the star on their far side. She had found herself in a glass maze with observers on all sides. Men had tried to seduce her – Lillith had almost completely lost it then, if not for that faint whisper of a memory that she must remain absolutely calm.


Growling softly to herself, Lillith unwound herself and clambered off the bed, pausing only to smooth down the wrinkled coverlet. ”Bah,” she thought as she reached for a hairbrush, ”Fa.. Father always said I was a stubborn girl, and I shouldn’t waste it being stubbornly self-piteous. I mean.. I passed an almost impossible test, and in the morning I shall be an Aes Sedai.”


As she brushed her short hair, Lillith continued musing to herself, “But why did I ever choose this life? Even knowing that I’ll be an Aes Sedai in the morning doesn’t clarify or magically outline what to do with myself… even if my Ajah of choice accepts me.” For the young Domani woman, the choice hadn’t been too difficult. The Green, Blue, and Red Ajahs seemed too boisterous and loud when it came to their purposes. The Browns and Yellows were bad in that way too, but not to such a severe degree. As for the Grays? Law and its applications were useful, true, but she could never see herself mediating disputes or forcing kings and queens to agree on peace when they wanted bloodshed.


Which left the White Ajah. Philosophers, ‘ice queens’, and so on; these women were abstract thinkers whose mission dealt with Truths, pure and simple. The Whites had appealed to her from the very beginning, but she could never put her finger on the why of it. She wasn’t really into figuring out the world via maths, or a believer in ‘world as illusion’. She knew it was said that by the time a woman was ready to swear her Oaths, she had been carefully guided towards the Ajah that would be right for her… but Lillith still had her doubts – Brown Sisters sure had taken an unwarranted interest in her!


Putting down the hairbrush, Lillith snorted to herself and headed across the small room to her wardrobe. “It’s a bit too late to worry about whether or not the Whites will take me or not,” she mumbled to herself as she fished a cleaner dress and shift out of the wardrobe She laid them out on the bed, then turned her attention on the washbasin and pitcher. Embracing Saidar, she channeled a thin thread of Fire into the pitcher to heat up the water. Even knowing that she was as good as Aes Sedai, she caught herself checking around the room to make sure no one had noticed. Chuckling to herself as she stripped down, she then poured the water and reached for a clean washcloth. “Silly girl,” Lillith murmured to herself as she started washing herself off, “It’s not like anyone is going to spring out from under the bed and denounce you for heating a bit of water… especially not this night, and doubly so at this late hour.”


Suddenly, she sighed and stopped her ablutions. She knew that she was just trying to distract herself from the events of earlier that evening. A normal way to deal with shock and stress, she knew… but she was still ambivalent on the matter. Forcing herself to continue in her washing, Lillith mused, ”Part of me is going to want to curl up and cry for awhile… not a surprise; I have no idea how everyone ever raised to the shawl makes it through that! But on the other hand, my world is about to completely change and expand, so why should I waste my time moping?”


As she put down the washrag to reach for clean toweling, she stopped again, this time to laugh. That is, if she hadn’t bit down on her lip to prevent herself howling. Taking a couple of deep breaths, Lillith managed to get her laughter under control. ”I think I’ve just managed to justify myself as White Ajah material,” she thought, he eyes twinkling mirthfully as she finished drying off. With some fragile sense of self and balance restored, the young White Sister-to-be dressed. Morning and all it brought wasn’t that far off.





Part Two: Daylight


As a new day dawned over Tar Valon, Lillith had to stop herself from yawning yet again. In spite of herself, she had dozed off a couple of times. She stood up and began pacing again; it would be very bad form to be asleep when they came for her!

She was still reeling from the test, and feeling about as solid as mist; Lillith was unable to remember a time in her life she felt as emotionally drained as she did right then. Her mother had died when she was too young to comprehend what was happening, but the loss of a family member was the closest emotionally traumatic experience she could figure out. ”But you’re not really losing anything in the oval ter’angreal… more like a crash course on yourself and life,” Lillith thought to herself as she rubbed her eyes and resumed her pacing, “Perhaps it’s more that individuals shouldn’t have so many self-revelations thrust upon them in one day.”

She was shocked out of her review by a knock sounding through the door; three firm raps, and no more. Taking a deep breath, the Domani woman gave herself a quick once-over in the mirror, and forced herself to proceed sedately to the door. Outside waited a Sister from each Ajah, who formed a circle around her as she exited her room into the hallway.

The proceeded silently, down into the bowels of the Tower. Lillith forced herself to maintain a calm demeanor; she kept her breathing even, her hands were clasped loosely before her, and her face a mask of calm. Her mind was unnaturally still… until she remembered where exactly they were going.

Taking a deep breath, Lillith couldn’t help but stare slightly at the open door, knowing… that bloody ter’angreal was in there, and that she’d have to pass through it once again.

”Who comes here?” a voice demanded loudly from within the chamber.

Taking another deep breath, Lillith replied, “Lillith Izmorova.”

”For what reason do you come?” the voice demanded.

Feeling on firmer footing as the ceremonial lines continued, Lillith called out, “To swear the three Oaths and thereby claim the Shawl of an Aes Sedai.”

”By what right do you claim this burden?”

“By right of having made the passage, submitting myself to the will of the White Tower… for better or worse…

“Then enter, if you dare, and bind yourself to the White Tower,” the voice intoned with a note of finality.

Steeling herself, Lillith entered the room. Keeping herself moving at an unhurried pace, she did her best to ignore the ter’angreal and focus past it. And so she did, her eyes focused on Karana Sedai, by the grace of the light, the Amyrlin Seat. Lillith felt a flash of… comfort… surge through her as she approached and knelt before the older Domani, but she kept herself from smiling at what was about to happen.

All of Lillith’s attention remained on Karana as the Amyrlin took the Oath Rod from her Keeper, laid it into Lillith’s upraised hands, and channeled a small thread of Spirit into it. She closed her hands around the Rod, took another deep breath, and began to speak, “Under the Light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will speak no word that is not true.”

“Under the Light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will make no weapon for one man to kill another.”

“Under the Light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will never use the One Power as a weapon except against Shadowspawn, or in the last extreme of defending my life or of my Warder, or another Sister.”

Ouch! Talk about a pain in the rear, this!

“It is half-done, and the White Tower is graven on your bones.” Karana did smile then, and continued, “Rise now, Aes Sedai, and choose your Ajah, and all will be done that may be done under the Light.”

Rising as smoothly as she could (for one who felt tied inside a sack, that is), Lillith curtsied and kissed the Amyrlin’s ring. Turning, she walked slowly towards the cluster of White Sisters. She didn’t notice the rest of the Aes Sedai as they began to leave, so intent on her walk towards the aforementioned… towards, she hoped, her new ‘family’.

Enter the Storm (Jerinia’s intro)

Lillith unconsciously tightened her shawl about her shoulders as she walked back to the Tower. She had been in town putting her annual wages in the bank, and had hoped the relative cold would have kept people inside, instead of crowding the streets. “No such luck,” she thought to herself, “This town is always too crowded, too full of humanity…”

She shook her head; such thoughts were moot. Tar Valon would always be crowded, though for all the White Sister thought on it, she couldn’t understand why people would wish to live in such a boisterous environment. “At least the Tower is quiet and spacious; most conducive to thinking and observing without getting run over by an inattentive passerby.”

As she passed through the gate, she was suddenly stopped by a figure tugging on her white sleeve, “S’cuse me miss, but where do i go to become an Aes Sedai?”.

Lillith’s eyebrows raised sharply, “Child,” she began, and stopped. She sighed mentally, and looked up at the excited young woman standing before her, “Words fail me right now on how much you are in need of learning right now, and I am not the one to teach you.”

Her dark eyes tightened momentarily; how she loathed random people coming up to her like this! But at least she had a way to get rid of this child, “The one you seek to ‘become an Aes Sedai’, as it were, would be the Mistress of Novices. I will guide you there, if only that it is on the way to where I myself am headed. Follow me, please, and do not get lost.”

Nodding, Lillith spun on her heel and headed into the Tower proper. She was not terribly familiar with the new Mistress of Novices, but had heard good things about the woman in question. “I wonder how many.. children… come to the Tower like this; a bundle of excitement and energy ready to leap before they look,” the young White mused to herself as she continued deeper into the Tower, “Perhaps Larindhra would answer me some questions on the topic, or let me observe her initial interview with some of these children.

She continued to think on this line of thought until she reached the Mistress of Novice’s office. She knocked on the door, and turned to the young woman with her. As the Red Sister called out for them to enter, Lillith spoke, “Wait here for a moment child while I speak to Larindhra Sedai.” She stared at the young woman for a moment, and entered without waiting for a reply.

The Red Sister currently serving as the Mistress of Novices looked up at her entrance; a hint of question resting in her eyes, “Yes… Lillith, is it? What brings you to my office? Not in need of Mortification of the Flesh or anything of the sort, I’d hope?” Lillith ignored the bemusement in the older Sister’s eye and spoke, “No, Larindhra. I was stopped by a young woman on my way back to the Tower asking how to become an Aes Sedai.” The White shook her head in bemusement at the child’s audacity before continuing, “She’s outside. I don’t know if she’s been tested or anything yet, but I figured the quickest way to get rid of her was to bring her to you.”

Larindhra stood up and opened her mouth to speak, but Lillith cut her off, “I know this might seem an odd request, but might I stay and observe her interview? Her.. impetuousness sparked a few questions about peoples’ motives for coming and trying to join our number, and I’m curious as to what she has to say.”


A small smile quirked to Lillith’s lips. She had heard that the women holding the position of Mistress of Novices were generally possessive of her charges, and Larindhra just proved that rumor. Still, the Domani woman was not one to give up on an idea when she had one, and was grateful that it wouldn’t come to a battle of wills with a Sister who was her elder, and serving the Tower in a higher capacity. “Thank you Larindhra,” Lillith smiled, knowing fully well that the show of obsequience would probably make the Red Sister chuckle, “for allowing me this whim. I will bring the girl in.”

Opening the door, she gestured to the young Malkerei woman to enter. With a nod to the Red Sister, she helped herself to spare writing materials and settled into the chair.


“Ah, my apologies, Lillith Sedai. I never actually saw an Aes Sedai before.”

Light, but how this child was stepping on herself left and right! But still, the White Sister had agreed to sit quietly and let the Mistress of Novices do her job, and she was sticking to that. “And besides,” Lillith thought to herself, “I spoke truly when I said I was not the one to be teaching her these lessons… those will come from Larindhra, from her actual teachers, from her mentor… those people who choose to become involved in this child’s life, not me.”

Still, she scribbled on the notepad before her:

Child exhibits excitement and nervousness. Probably read too many stories about Aes Sedai while growing up, and romanticized the whole experience. Perhaps is starting to realize that whatever she was earlier in her life, she is truly a child again at this point.

And the young woman explained the colour of her ki’sain, Lillith added:

Tenancy towards ‘white’ lies. Need to ascertain degree of dishonesty, and how this has affected her decision-making process.

Taking a moment to clean and sharpen her nib, she waited expectantly for more of the interview.


Lillith reviewed her notes on the new Novice as Larindhra puttered around the office preparing tea. At least, she was pretending to review the notes; her eyes obliquely followed the older woman. “She seems a bit agitated,” the young White thought to herself, “I do hope she’ll explain why.”

She was forced out of her reverie as Lari drew up a chair and poured the tea. Nodding her thanks, Lillith took the proffered cup and joined the Mistress of Novices in a few sips.

“So, what did you make of that? I must confess I lost my temper a bit; we Borderlanders are quite… serious about our traditions and heritage. Jerinia wearing the red ki’sain when not entitled to… well, that put my back up a bit.” The older sister smiled, and continued, “Not exactly proper Aes Sedai behavior on my part, I suppose, but then I’ve always been of the opinion that we all have our faults. As long as we recognize them and work on them, that’s what counts.”

Lillith smiled into her tea, “That’s an understandable reason for agitation… and her logic is sounder than anything I would have ever expected out of a Red. Still…

She looked up, “We do indeed have our faults, but I think that most people prefer to ignore them… Or can’t banish the bloody things; oh, these walls… I’d say you have a bit of a White streak in you, Larindhra, but then, most do… and wouldn’t dare admit to such.” Shaking her head, Lillith turned her eyes to her teacup again, “As for pride, one could say it’s the glue that binds a nation together.”

The White Sister shook herself again, and carefully set her tea aside. She picked up her notes and held them towards Larindhra, “Anyways, on this… impetuous child… I am thinking that she is one of those with an over-romanticized view of the White Tower, and that she’s in for a stiff dose of reality!” A small chuckle escaped Lillith’s lips, “And as for this lying business of hers, I think that we can count on your Shevara to straighten her out, if she’s even only a fraction as fierce as her reputation makes her out to be… I take it that this assignation was a-purpose?”


14 July 2008


Lillith frowned sadly; it was the most emotion she had probably shown in days, but she couldn’t help herself in this instance. “Yes,” she murmured in assent, “We are.. but what is there to do, really?” Sipping her tea, she continued with a bit of heat to her voice, “Those Sisters who are out in the world doing… whatever… should be making stronger efforts to test and find girls, but it’s not like we can make them deviate from their precious tasks.” Her voice held traces of unaccountable bitterness as she continued, “We do dwindle, with less girls found every year, and most of them who come seeking to be Aes Sedai being ungifted fools following romantic notions, as you so aptly put it.

Taking another sip of the tea, she put the cup down, picked up a biscuit, and idly fingered it as she went on, “I was one of those… reluctant ones myself,” Lillith spoke; her lips quirked into a small smile at the slight widening of Lari’s eyes, “I was the only family my father had, and while he might have been a reluctant parent at best, I still feel I did him a disservice by agreeing to come to the White Tower. But logically.. logically.. it seemed for the best to have my abilities trained to better serve mankind.”


14 August 2008

Lillith almost jumped a mile in her skin when Lari reached over and patted her; she’d let her emotions run away with her in a manner that was… well, considered unseemly for one of her Ajah.

Still, if she thought about it, it made sense in a way that she’d let herself go with the Mistress of Novices, whomever the woman.  Lacking a mother growing up, the young White Sister had been more open with the woman filling the position as she came up through the Tower.  “I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that I find myself spilling my soul out to the woman filling the position now,” she mused ruefully, as she turned her attention back to what the woman before her was saying.

“…fear that if it is the centuries, we will have dwindled to nothing.” the older woman finished with a bleak look crossing her face.  Lillith blinked again, and picked up her teacup to hide a small smile, “It seems that we’re both in a sharing mood, then,” she thought, taking a small sip before placing the cup back on the table.

Suddenly, a knock echoed through the door, and Lillith stood, “It seems your work calls, Sister,” Lillith smiled softly as she pushed the chair back in, “And as for Last Battle.. we will make due as we can.”

Crossing the small room, she turned back to the Red Sister, “If you wish sometime, perhaps, we could discuss this another time,” she said, “But for now, I bid you good day.”

She opened the door, and eyed the red-faced Novice without as she strode past; Lillith wasn’t sure what quite had happened this day, but it seemed that something had happened… and possibly something quite good.

Lillith Izmorova (Biography)

Name: Lillith Izmorova
Age: 75
Nationality: Domani

Hair: Dark brown and clipped to the shoulder
Eyes: Dark brown
Skin: Olive tones, but slightly sallow in appearance due to too much time spent indoors
Height: 5’7″
Voice: High-pitched – talking is usually driven very forcefully, but not quite shrill.
Other: Slim and somewhat plain, Lillith is never one to worry about how fashionable or made-up she is, and dresses in a tidy utilitarian fashion – usually something in a Saldaean cut.

Special Skills: Very skilled in glaring when it suits her.  Able to use sursa!
Physical Weakness: Not particularly adept at horse-riding, but making a point to learn.
Personality Weakness: Lillith has very poor social skills, and due to her upbringing became extremely introverted.  Due to said lack of social skills, her Novice and Accepted years were spent building up thick walls to keep the noisy outside world her roommates tried to bring her into.  She has worked on basic niceties as pertains to conversation and social gatherings, but prefers the company of herself alone.

Character History:

Lillith was the only child of a minor court historian in Arad Doman. Her mother died when she was very small, and only had vague recollections of said personage. Her father kept busy with his various researches into obscure lore on the behalf of lordlings sent by their parents to get a better education, to their dismay. This left Lillith pretty much on her own, her only friends the books she read, and the environment around her.

Shortly after her 14th nameday, a royal-looking lady came sweeping into the section of the library where Lillith’s father worked. The girlchild was bringing up lunch for herself and her father when she noticed this woman. Why, Lillith couldn’t put an age to her at all! Then it occurred to her that this strange woman was looking upon her with equal fervor.

This woman came up to Lillith, and introduced herself as a sister of the Brown Ajah. “An Aes Sedai?!” Lillith thought to herself as the strange lady took her by the hand and led her over to her father. “Good sir,” the Aes Sedai began, “It seems that your daughter had the potential to channel. If it is alright with you, I would like to test her, and if successful, take her with me to the White Tower when I return.”

Though her father loved his daughter very much, the both agreed that this might give her a better life. She was given and passed the Aes Sedai’s test, and was soon off to the White Tower.

The trip to Tar Valon from Arad Doman was fairly quiet with both women in their own worlds of thought.  Lillith learned that the Sister’s name was Sarita, and a little bit about what to expect about life as a Novice.  Lillith was content with this – she was a bit in shock, and found herself wondering whatever possessed her to leave the only life, the only little bit of the world she had ever known.

Life in the Tower was as big of a shock as Lillith had expected.  She was put into a room with another Novice; a boisterous young woman who often tried to engage Lillith in conversation upon her arrival, this roommate quickly figured out that it was a moot point, and made friends amongst the other Novices in their classes.  This suited Lillith just fine – she was uncomfortable with the other Novices around her trying to be friendly, and patiently built up walls to keep them out of her business and out of their lives.

This was her life during her training – always alone by choice, and ever immersed in her studies.  In time, she passed her test for Accepted and Aes Sedai, and joined the White Ajah.

In spite of her lack of desire to interact with other people, Lillith was very interested in the interactions of people with each other, and made it her area of study once she reached the shawl.  She is also interested in how people adjust to new environments, and will be asking the Mistress of Novices Larindhra Sedai for permission to sit in when she interviews incoming Novices and observe their progress as they adjust to life in the Tower.